You haven’t been quick enough. Everyone but you have made their excuses not to attend rich, cranky spinster-aunt’s birthday dinner. Probably my last, she says every year. Now you are obliged to go because of a sense of duty and probably a fear of disinheritance and a visit from beyond the grave when the time comes.
You dread the tiresome boring trip to a boring dinner with no humans for company, Well, why not turn to your best friend instead? Bring along Brownie. He will be a good companion: delightful and always eager to please. Let him lie on your lap as you stroke his head to help you relax, while you mentally curse at the collision ahead that put traffic to a standstill.
This time could well be very productive for you and your dog. Use it to teach him a few tricks like begging, rolling over and playing dead. Better yet, teach him to bark on cue, growl and bare his fangs at those kids who keep knocking on your window asking for change or selling you those rags. With these tricks, he might turn out to be the life of the party and might endear you even more to dear old aunt.
If you don’t have a dog, then bring your cat. I’m a dog person myself so not knowing anything about cats, I asked Google. It seems that one can “strengthen one’s relationship with a feline friend and ease stress by playing with it.” Bring along some of his toys. Watch him running all over the seat and the dashboard while chasing a toy mouse, or trying to extricate himself from a box smaller than himself. It would greatly entertain your cat but I am a bit vague as to how this helps you pass the time. If you get tired of each other’s company, just roll down the windows and let him out. Amuse yourself watching other car owners get startled and then furious as he jumps from one car to another. Don’t worry if he doesn’t come back to you. He’ll always find his way home.
Another good pet would be a mynah bird, because it can talk. Parrots can talk, too, but a mynah seems to be able to mimic its owner’s voice as well. My mom had a very smart mynah name Genius. Not only could it repeat what you say, it actually replied on cue. So when the phone rang, it screeched ‘Telepono!’ My sister once called out to my mom that she was going over to the house next door. When she heard an affirmative reply, she left. Lo and behold, she was surprised to find my mom over at the neighbors’ ahead of her. But I digress. I’m just telling this to let show you the possibilitiess of being entertained by a bird. Imagine holding a lengthy conversation with a being who sounds exactly like you. Not only would it be hilarious, it might even surprise you. And time spent stuck in traffic would not have been wasted.
How do you entertain yourself when you’re stuck in traffic? Tell us here at http://manila.coconuts.co/contribute or send an email to manila@coconuts.co.
Ilustration: Neil Agonoy
MORE WAYS TO DEAL WITH TRAFFIC:
– Stuck in traffic? 6 ways to exercise your brain
– Stuck in traffic? 8 ways to spend quality time with the kids
– Stuck in traffic? Tell us a joke
– Stuck in traffic? Sleep
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